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Getting Involved Again After An Ended Love Relationship

By: Michael S. Broder Ph.D.

If you have recently ended a love relationship and have worked through the issues of being single itself, you maybe ready to get involved again, but find yourself facing what seems like insurmountable obstacles. Here are some of the main obstacles to getting involved again:

First is your fear of being vulnerable in a new relationship. Even though what you may have thought was the worst thing that could happen to you (the breakup) happened, you lived through it. So do not blow it now by telling yourself that you couldn’t handle it again if your next relationship doesn’t work out and you had to, or you’ll only avoid that next relationship altogether, But don’t be naïve about some of the signs of getting involved with an inappropriate partner, either. If someone tells you they don’t want to get involved, could never leave their present partner, or don’t want to see the relationship go anywhere, believe them! Avoid generalization: don’t assume that the unworkable issues of your former relationship will be present in your next one. Don’t fall in love with the first second or even third person you meet. Take the time to meet lots of people. And finally, don’t get stifled by that fear of taking risks. It usually feels risky when starting a serious involvement, but a risk usually worth taking. Have fun and don’t waste your good energy fearing rejection. That will only get in the way of finding what you really want.