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Self-Esteem Self-Confidence

By: Michael S. Broder Ph.D.

You may have heard many different definitions.

Some people believe that it’s simply the absence of that tendency to put yourself down. Others will tell you that if you see yourself as a significant person, making a significant contribution to the world or to the people that you care about, then you have self-esteem. Some believe that it is the feeling of competence at life’s skills.

I believe that you have achieved self-esteem, when you have simply accepted yourself with all your strengths, weaknesses, shortcomings, lovable and unlovable traits, habits, attitudes, thoughts and feelings, all of the ingredients—those you like as well as those you don’t— that go into making you the person you are. In other words, being comfortable in your own skin. Take a look in the mirror. To the extent, you can believe in that person you see, and then you’ve arrived.

If not, you now know that you’ve got something important to work on.

Your self-esteem can be increased at any point in your life. The only thing really necessary is for you to decide that you deserve it and then make a commitment to live your life with that crucial attitude of self-acceptance from now on. As you do that, self-esteem will follow effortlessly.