Are you an ambivalent person? Ambivalence is the state of mind we are in when we are undecided. For some people, it is a way of life. If so, consider this: ambivalence in and of itself can actually ruin your life. Theoretically, if you had everything that you could possibly want going for you, but you were ambivalent about life’s decisions and circumstances, no matter what you had in your life, you could be dwelling on the fact that you should be doing something else.
Now granted, a little ambivalence protects you from extreme thoughtlessness or recklessness, but beyond that, it would only serve to hold you back in the areas of your life that you consider to be most important. By failing to act you could be keeping yourself in what I have long referred to as “a comfortable state of discomfort” indefinitely.
If ambivalence is your problem, you can start to break that pattern today by testing your instincts and by making at least one decision that you have been putting off. Every time you avoid an important decision, you actually make that decision by default. But when you change that pattern act, decisively and stick to it— your life is back in your own hands.
Hemant Gupta, Ph.D.
/in General /by Michael S. Broder PhD“Stage Climbing is insightful, informative and well written. It can show anyone the Shortest Path to their Highest Potential.”
— Hemant Gupta, Ph.D., author of Road to Digital Divine and Joy from Deep Within
Alicia T. Rozycki Lozano, Ph.D.
/in General /by Michael S. Broder PhD“The concepts in Stage Climbing integrated a variety of developmental and therapeutic psychological theories in a well organized and practical manner; the concepts were worded in a way to be useful to practitioners and laypeople alike. In reading about careers, romantic relationships, family relationships, altruistic endeavors, and other facets of life, I thought of scenarios in my own life, the lives of friends and loved ones, and my patients. Personally, the concepts gave me courage to enact behavior change by addressing a professional issue with an authority figure; I felt empowered for having stood up for myself! I have no doubt this book would be useful in helping others in understanding and changing their own behavior by realizing the areas in their own life that could benefit from growth and change.”
— Alicia T. Rozycki Lozano, Ph.D., Clinical and Counseling Psychologist, San Angelo, TX
Jacqueline Summers
/in General /by Michael S. Broder PhD“Michael Broder has done it again! His innovative way of categorizing behavior according to a person’s level of maturity helps my clients to move towards their goals in the most efficient manner.”
— Jacqueline Summers, Licensed Psychologist
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Singles Scene
/in Frontpage Articles /by Michael S. Broder PhDYou’ve no doubt heard about (or experienced first hand) the “ horrors” of the singles scene – tales of singles bars and the “meat market” atmosphere commonly thought of as being a good spots to meet potential relationship.
Many (though certainly not all) find these places to be depressing sources of discomfort and disappointment. So what’s the alternative? In making the effort to meet a potential relationship, the trick is to set up a no lose situation. When you’re in the mood to meet new friends, go only to places that you enjoy. By a no lose situation I mean that by being at places where you would naturally enjoy yourself, you’re most likely to have a good time whether you meet someone or not.
Perhaps the gym, golf, tennis, literary book clubs or places where you can take a fun course in something that interests you are places that you would enjoy going. The important thing is that if you would frequent them even if you were in a satisfactory relationship, or not looking for one at all – then you’re on the right track. When you’re doing the things you enjoy, you look and feel your best and you come across as your more attractive . And you’ll rarely leave with that “dreaded” sense of disappointment.
Depression
/in Frontpage Articles /by Michael S. Broder PhDJust about everyone experiences some amount of sadness, and most of us at one time or another, experience an occasional bout of depression. Depression has many possible causes. They can be medical or psychological. A very common psychological cause of depression is low self-esteem, and the tendency to put yourself down for circumstances beyond your control. It ultimately does you no good to blame yourself for not being able to change what you have defined and see as unchangeable. So if depression is a problem you have, you might want to look at what you tell yourself about the issues, circumstances or people in your life that you want to change but can’t. Do you have the tendency to think of yourself negatively, instead of with acceptance? Do you dwell on small disappointments and have difficulty letting go of the slightest upset? Do you lack the motivation and energy to carry out necessary tasks? These are all contributors to, if not causes of depression. Finally, if depression persists beyond a few weeks, seek professional help. Effective short-term treatment can literally turn your entire life around.
Cure for Boredom
/in Frontpage Articles /by Michael S. Broder PhDDo you experience boredom easily or often? Maybe even constantly or worse yet, do you sometimes feel as though there is no way out of that boredom?
If so, it is possible that specific situations bore you or on the other hand, that you are bored with your life in general. Either way I believe that you certainly have a choice.
My definition of boredom is that frame of mind when you do not like what’s happening, but you are not willing to do whatever is necessary to change it. Again, you can be talking about a very specific situation, the way you see your entire life or anything in between.
Sometimes it’s easy to forget that life takes on only the meanings that we give it, and that the meaning for our lives is almost always under our control. So the next time you’re feeling bored, ask yourself what it is that you may be unwilling to change. If you can confront those issues head on, not only won’t you experience boredom, but in its place will be a renewed sense of power over that aspect or even your entire life.
Communicating Sexual Desires
/in Frontpage Articles /by Michael S. Broder PhDUnfortunately many couples let sex become less and less of an important part of their relationship simply because of the failure of each partner to communicate their sexual desires to each other.
Although this is extremely prevalent, the good news is that it’s a problem that is very easily correctable. Usually when sexual desires are not communicated, it’s for one of these reasons:
It could be fear of disclosure or embarrassment. This fear is usually unwarranted because studies have shown that the more couples share their sexual desires, the more they describe their marriage as characterized by intimacy.
The second is the belief that your partner ought to know what turns you on without your having to communicate that information. It’s rare to find a couple that can satisfy each other without an explicit exchange of this information. In addition, that attitude is often a cause of needless anger.
So take the plunge. Share those desires and see how quickly sexual ecstasy can be rejuvenated in your relationship.
Ambivalence
/in Frontpage Articles /by Michael S. Broder PhDAre you an ambivalent person? Ambivalence is the state of mind we are in when we are undecided. For some people, it is a way of life. If so, consider this: ambivalence in and of itself can actually ruin your life. Theoretically, if you had everything that you could possibly want going for you, but you were ambivalent about life’s decisions and circumstances, no matter what you had in your life, you could be dwelling on the fact that you should be doing something else.
Now granted, a little ambivalence protects you from extreme thoughtlessness or recklessness, but beyond that, it would only serve to hold you back in the areas of your life that you consider to be most important. By failing to act you could be keeping yourself in what I have long referred to as “a comfortable state of discomfort” indefinitely.
If ambivalence is your problem, you can start to break that pattern today by testing your instincts and by making at least one decision that you have been putting off. Every time you avoid an important decision, you actually make that decision by default. But when you change that pattern act, decisively and stick to it— your life is back in your own hands.