In spite of what you may have thought, some people do actually feel good immediately after the breakup of a marital or other long-term relationship.

Some well controlled research confirms that those who have been engaged in extra-martial affairs (what I have referred to in The Art of Staying Together as a prebound relationship which is similar to a rebound relationship, but occurs before the breakup), those who are characterized as having done the leaving rather than being left and those who have clear goals following their breakup are most likely to feel good. In addition, if you’re a man, the better educated you are and the higher your status, the better your chances are to feel good immediately after the breakup. If you’re a woman, however, generally you’re more likely to feel good sooner than you would if you were a man. If you’re a woman with custody, you’re more likely to feel better than your ex-husband, and if you’re not bothered by the guilt induced by religious beliefs you’re likely to feel better. However, these are just the results of some research. Most importantly, if you are in that situation, by addressing the obstacles you are facing one by one, you can work hard to make yourself feel better about your reality, regardless of your circumstances.

There are few things that can throw a family into as much emotional turmoil, as can an economic crisis. This could be caused by sudden unemployment, a large unexpected expense, a disability, a major financial loss or, of course, a sudden and devastating change in our economic climate—such as the one we are now experiencing.

Where many families cause themselves needless trouble, is when there is polarization during a crisis instead of coming together. Polarization or coming apart, often results from the blaming and hindsight that are nothing more than symptoms of anxiety and fear.

There is nothing more necessary during a period of economic crisis than for every member of the family to make any effort possible to be supportive of each other.

While pulling in the same direction may not correct the financial hardship itself, it will certainly minimize the potentially devastating psychological effects.

In fact, many couples and families will tell you that they were able to become even closer as a result of crisis—economic or otherwise. If this can happen in your situation, you may actually be able to look back at it someday as a blessing in disguise.

Studies that have measured the self –esteem of children from both divorced and intact homes, have found that self-esteem is higher for children from divorced homes than it is for children in intact, unhappy homes. This research shatters the myth that it is better to keep an otherwise unhappy marriage intact solely for the benefit of the children.

Now no one is arguing that an intact happy home is not the best of all possible worlds; but in examining this issue, whether to have an “intact happy home” is not the question.

If it appears that your marriage can’t be a happy one, you have left no stone unturned in saving a relationship that could provide an atmosphere of warmth and love for both the adults and the children, then before making the final decision, you may need to deal with one last obstacle – the guilt you may be experiencing about the effect your divorce will have on the children.

Once you have come to terms with that guilt, the answer—either way— will be obvious. The best thing you can provide your children is a happy parent who can be emotionally free to provide them with the maturity and guidance they need.

If your relationship seems to have lost its spark, and you are trying to rekindle that love once again, a question that you may be asking yourself and your partner is whether saving your romance is possible. The answer is sometimes.

It can usually be saved if the right ingredients were there in the first place, and when the relationship has been suffering from a lot of strain over an issue that is resolvable. If this is the case, by resolving the issue, very often the passion will return. However, this is only true if the desire on the part of both people is truly to save the relationship and there’s a commitment by each of you to work on bringing back those lost romantic feelings.

On the other hand, if those feelings were not really there in the first place, if either partner is unwilling to work on resolving the issues, or either of you has someone else with whom you are more sexually attracted, chances are its over – at least romantically.

The bottom line is to leave no stone unturned in saving your relationship, as long as both of you are genuinely committed to doing so.

A lot has been said about a dysfunction called inhibited sexual desire. Inhibited sexual desire or ISD is exactly what it says. It is the lack of desire for sex. ISD has nothing to do with your performance per se. Instead, it’s experienced as apathy or indifference with respect to initiating sex or a loss of sexual appetite in general.

Sometimes this occurs in relationships because sex is not kept fresh and exciting. Couples often get into a rut because their love making becomes routine – occurring only at certain times, or always in a set and fixed way. Then, at some point, it becomes monotonous and boring. When this happens, it can sometimes seem more like a task or obligation than an act of mutual pleasure. Then very slowly, either one or both partners find themselves desiring sex toward the other less and less.

ISD can have many causes; it can be the result of any unresolved problem that exists in the relationship. Sometimes, it can even be the fear of intimacy itself. In other cases, depression is the culprit.

The success rate is high in otherwise good relationships where ISD is a problem, if you are willing to address the issues that are behind it