Surviving The Economic Crisis

There are few things that can throw a family into as much emotional turmoil, as can an economic crisis. This could be caused by sudden unemployment, a large unexpected expense, a disability, a major financial loss or, of course, a sudden and devastating change in our economic climate—such as the one we are now experiencing.

Where many families cause themselves needless trouble, is when there is polarization during a crisis instead of coming together. Polarization or coming apart, often results from the blaming and hindsight that are nothing more than symptoms of anxiety and fear.

There is nothing more necessary during a period of economic crisis than for every member of the family to make any effort possible to be supportive of each other.

While pulling in the same direction may not correct the financial hardship itself, it will certainly minimize the potentially devastating psychological effects.

In fact, many couples and families will tell you that they were able to become even closer as a result of crisis—economic or otherwise. If this can happen in your situation, you may actually be able to look back at it someday as a blessing in disguise.

Stress Is A Treatable Illness

By now, you probably know that in today’s world, stress plays a role in up to 90% of all disease. Stressors themselves can be extraordinary events, but usually they are simply the pressures of daily living. Distress, however, or that which is most associated with illness is the difference between those daily pressures and our ability to cope with them.

No matter how hard you try, you won’t completely avoid the stress of daily living. But you can learn both to reduce your stressors and increase your coping skills at the same time. This is a matter of looking at many of your attitudes and habits. Perhaps you’ve bitten off more than you can chew or maybe you’re not making as much out of your life as you wish you could. These are things that can be turned around, provided you make the commitment to do so. Although stress is experienced by everyone, it’s not handled the same by everyone. It’s important that you know when stress is turning into distress, so that you can take action before your health is affected.

Some basic practices to stress management include:

  • Setting realistic goals and assessing them periodically
  • Putting regular exercise such as walking 30-45 minutes per day or aerobics into your life
  • Practicing daily meditation or relaxation exercises
  • Carefully managing your time
  • And most importantly spending that precious time doing more of the things that you enjoy.

Staying Together For The Children

Studies that have measured the self –esteem of children from both divorced and intact homes, have found that self-esteem is higher for children from divorced homes than it is for children in intact, unhappy homes. This research shatters the myth that it is better to keep an otherwise unhappy marriage intact solely for the benefit of the children.

Now no one is arguing that an intact happy home is not the best of all possible worlds; but in examining this issue, whether to have an “intact happy home” is not the question.

If it appears that your marriage can’t be a happy one, you have left no stone unturned in saving a relationship that could provide an atmosphere of warmth and love for both the adults and the children, then before making the final decision, you may need to deal with one last obstacle – the guilt you may be experiencing about the effect your divorce will have on the children.

Once you have come to terms with that guilt, the answer—either way— will be obvious. The best thing you can provide your children is a happy parent who can be emotionally free to provide them with the maturity and guidance they need.


Shyness can be a major problem when meeting new people. If you are a shy person, you have a very important obstacle to overcome when trying to meet potential relationships or to expand your social network in general.

Shy people often feel an acute sense of self-consciousness whenever they try to assert themselves in social situations. It’s almost as if something terrible could happen if a new person that you’ve approached were to be unresponsive or downright rejecting.

If you find yourself wanting to start a conversation but are bothered by this gnawing sense of anxiety, stop for a minute and ask yourself what’s the worst thing that could happen if your good intentioned and friendly overtures were rejected. Chances are you can’t come up with an answer that represents anything worth all that fear, so take that risk.

Believe me it will get much easier each time you do it. Overcoming shyness involves two steps. The first is to realize what you are telling yourself is the worst thing that can happen regarding the potential rejection, and the second is to plunge forward and take a risk. If you succeed, the rewards are obvious. But if you don’t, you will have at the very least proven to yourself that you can handle it. Either way, it will get easier next time, but you will never know unless you try.

Rekindling Love

If your relationship seems to have lost its spark, and you are trying to rekindle that love once again, a question that you may be asking yourself and your partner is whether saving your romance is possible. The answer is sometimes.

It can usually be saved if the right ingredients were there in the first place, and when the relationship has been suffering from a lot of strain over an issue that is resolvable. If this is the case, by resolving the issue, very often the passion will return. However, this is only true if the desire on the part of both people is truly to save the relationship and there’s a commitment by each of you to work on bringing back those lost romantic feelings.

On the other hand, if those feelings were not really there in the first place, if either partner is unwilling to work on resolving the issues, or either of you has someone else with whom you are more sexually attracted, chances are its over – at least romantically.

The bottom line is to leave no stone unturned in saving your relationship, as long as both of you are genuinely committed to doing so.

Rebound Relationships

The term rebound relationship generally refers to an involvement that gets initiated during a time when you’re in transition. Usually you’re most vulnerable to rebound relationships while you’re in the process of divorce or separation.

Feelings of infatuation are often mistaken for love. Although it can feel very good at the time, the important thing to remember is that you may not be allowing yourself to assess objectively, the long term appropriateness of the relationship.

Rebound relationships rarely work, because you’re often not relating to the other person, but to the need in you that the other person fulfills. Sometimes, this need could include acting out revenge toward your former partner, or the desire for some anesthesia against your pain of loneliness.

On the other hand, if you can look at them as transitional relationships, and recognize their transient nature, They can provide you with a legitimate stepping stone to the real thing.

Low Sexual Desire

A lot has been said about a dysfunction called inhibited sexual desire. Inhibited sexual desire or ISD is exactly what it says. It is the lack of desire for sex. ISD has nothing to do with your performance per se. Instead, it’s experienced as apathy or indifference with respect to initiating sex or a loss of sexual appetite in general.

Sometimes this occurs in relationships because sex is not kept fresh and exciting. Couples often get into a rut because their love making becomes routine – occurring only at certain times, or always in a set and fixed way. Then, at some point, it becomes monotonous and boring. When this happens, it can sometimes seem more like a task or obligation than an act of mutual pleasure. Then very slowly, either one or both partners find themselves desiring sex toward the other less and less.

ISD can have many causes; it can be the result of any unresolved problem that exists in the relationship. Sometimes, it can even be the fear of intimacy itself. In other cases, depression is the culprit.

The success rate is high in otherwise good relationships where ISD is a problem, if you are willing to address the issues that are behind it

Job Burnout

What is job burnout? Well, consider this. You once approached your work in a dedicated and enthusiastic way. You felt that you were making an important contribution, but like most challenges found that your field has built in frustrations. These could be conflicts with the people you serve, co-workers or the system itself.

Slowly you began to feel a sense for stagnation, this leads to apathy. At some point you don’t even feel like trying anymore. But it’s not your nature to stop trying. So you experience this conflict as chronic cynicism, depression, feelings of hopelessness, or low self esteem specifically related to your job or profession. This is job burnout.

If you’re in this dilemma, first stop putting yourself down. Do whatever you can to change the situation. But if you’re truly powerless to change things at work, consider a career or job change that will bring that sense of enthusiasm back. It’s usually the most dedicated people who burnout. (Think of it this way. the term “burn out” uses the metaphor of fire. Thus to burn out, you had to have been on fire.)

The longer you wait in addressing the situation, the more likely it is that this apathy and the other affects of burnout will spread to other areas of your life.

Insomnia, Stress, and Depression

Insomnia can be the inability to fall asleep at night, a tendency to awaken regularly in the middle of the night, or to wake up much earlier than you need to, without being able to fall back to sleep. Insomnia can have many possible causes. Your sleeping habits themselves as well as your daily schedule could be the problem. Some people mistakenly use bedtime as a time to worry, or to think about issues that can wait until tomorrow. Instead, try to clear your mind by breathing deeply, relaxing and thereby your tensions. One of the most common ironic themes of bedtime worry is about how you will cope the next day with not having enough sleep. This is needless concern, since the body has vast energy reserves. Endless worry or anything will only raise your anxiety level and contribute to the problem. With a combination of learning how to relax, and effectively managing the underlying anxiety, that kind of insomnia can usually be overcome quickly. Depression on the other hand is major reason why people have trouble staying asleep at night.

Indifference In Marriage

If I were to ask you what the most prevalent characteristic of a marriage that was doomed, or about to break up with little hope of saving it, you’d think of a relationship that was characterized by constant fighting, suspicion, or maybe where it was discovered that the other partner was having an affair, or where there was some other major issue that couldn’t seem to be resolved.

Well if you’re thinking its the stormy relationships that are mostly likely to end, you’re wrong, In fact, research shows that it is the marriages that are characterized by indifference that have the least chance of surviving.

That’s right, if you’re in a relationship where one of you feels indifferent toward the other – where there’s little emotion, little desire for sex and little desire to make things better, then the first order of business is to get into couples counseling, to see if the flame can be rekindled.

If this does not produce positive results, then the question that remains is how you want to live the rest of your life. An indifferent marriage may or may not agree with you, but if there is anything you owe yourself, its a decision by conscious choice, not resignation.