Shyness

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Shyness can be a major problem when meeting new people. If you are a shy person, you have a very important obstacle to overcome when trying to meet potential relationships or to expand your social network in general.

Shy people often feel an acute sense of self-consciousness whenever they try to assert themselves in social situations. It’s almost as if something terrible could happen if a new person that you’ve approached were to be unresponsive or downright rejecting.

If you find yourself wanting to start a conversation but are bothered by this gnawing sense of anxiety, stop for a minute and ask yourself what’s the worst thing that could happen if your good intentioned and friendly overtures were rejected. Chances are you can’t come up with an answer that represents anything worth all that fear, so take that risk.

Believe me it will get much easier each time you do it. Overcoming shyness involves two steps. The first is to realize what you are telling yourself is the worst thing that can happen regarding the potential rejection, and the second is to plunge forward and take a risk. If you succeed, the rewards are obvious. But if you don’t, you will have at the very least proven to yourself that you can handle it. Either way, it will get easier next time, but you will never know unless you try.

Rekindling Love

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If your relationship seems to have lost its spark, and you are trying to rekindle that love once again, a question that you may be asking yourself and your partner is whether saving your romance is possible. The answer is sometimes.

It can usually be saved if the right ingredients were there in the first place, and when the relationship has been suffering from a lot of strain over an issue that is resolvable. If this is the case, by resolving the issue, very often the passion will return. However, this is only true if the desire on the part of both people is truly to save the relationship and there’s a commitment by each of you to work on bringing back those lost romantic feelings.

On the other hand, if those feelings were not really there in the first place, if either partner is unwilling to work on resolving the issues, or either of you has someone else with whom you are more sexually attracted, chances are its over – at least romantically.

The bottom line is to leave no stone unturned in saving your relationship, as long as both of you are genuinely committed to doing so.

Rebound Relationships

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The term rebound relationship generally refers to an involvement that gets initiated during a time when you’re in transition. Usually you’re most vulnerable to rebound relationships while you’re in the process of divorce or separation.

Feelings of infatuation are often mistaken for love. Although it can feel very good at the time, the important thing to remember is that you may not be allowing yourself to assess objectively, the long term appropriateness of the relationship.

Rebound relationships rarely work, because you’re often not relating to the other person, but to the need in you that the other person fulfills. Sometimes, this need could include acting out revenge toward your former partner, or the desire for some anesthesia against your pain of loneliness.

On the other hand, if you can look at them as transitional relationships, and recognize their transient nature, They can provide you with a legitimate stepping stone to the real thing.

Low Sexual Desire

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A lot has been said about a dysfunction called inhibited sexual desire. Inhibited sexual desire or ISD is exactly what it says. It is the lack of desire for sex. ISD has nothing to do with your performance per se. Instead, it’s experienced as apathy or indifference with respect to initiating sex or a loss of sexual appetite in general.

Sometimes this occurs in relationships because sex is not kept fresh and exciting. Couples often get into a rut because their love making becomes routine – occurring only at certain times, or always in a set and fixed way. Then, at some point, it becomes monotonous and boring. When this happens, it can sometimes seem more like a task or obligation than an act of mutual pleasure. Then very slowly, either one or both partners find themselves desiring sex toward the other less and less.

ISD can have many causes; it can be the result of any unresolved problem that exists in the relationship. Sometimes, it can even be the fear of intimacy itself. In other cases, depression is the culprit.

The success rate is high in otherwise good relationships where ISD is a problem, if you are willing to address the issues that are behind it

Job Burnout

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What is job burnout? Well, consider this. You once approached your work in a dedicated and enthusiastic way. You felt that you were making an important contribution, but like most challenges found that your field has built in frustrations. These could be conflicts with the people you serve, co-workers or the system itself.

Slowly you began to feel a sense for stagnation, this leads to apathy. At some point you don’t even feel like trying anymore. But it’s not your nature to stop trying. So you experience this conflict as chronic cynicism, depression, feelings of hopelessness, or low self esteem specifically related to your job or profession. This is job burnout.

If you’re in this dilemma, first stop putting yourself down. Do whatever you can to change the situation. But if you’re truly powerless to change things at work, consider a career or job change that will bring that sense of enthusiasm back. It’s usually the most dedicated people who burnout. (Think of it this way. the term “burn out” uses the metaphor of fire. Thus to burn out, you had to have been on fire.)

The longer you wait in addressing the situation, the more likely it is that this apathy and the other affects of burnout will spread to other areas of your life.

Insomnia, Stress, and Depression

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Insomnia can be the inability to fall asleep at night, a tendency to awaken regularly in the middle of the night, or to wake up much earlier than you need to, without being able to fall back to sleep. Insomnia can have many possible causes. Your sleeping habits themselves as well as your daily schedule could be the problem. Some people mistakenly use bedtime as a time to worry, or to think about issues that can wait until tomorrow. Instead, try to clear your mind by breathing deeply, relaxing and thereby your tensions. One of the most common ironic themes of bedtime worry is about how you will cope the next day with not having enough sleep. This is needless concern, since the body has vast energy reserves. Endless worry or anything will only raise your anxiety level and contribute to the problem. With a combination of learning how to relax, and effectively managing the underlying anxiety, that kind of insomnia can usually be overcome quickly. Depression on the other hand is major reason why people have trouble staying asleep at night.

Indifference In Marriage

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If I were to ask you what the most prevalent characteristic of a marriage that was doomed, or about to break up with little hope of saving it, you’d think of a relationship that was characterized by constant fighting, suspicion, or maybe where it was discovered that the other partner was having an affair, or where there was some other major issue that couldn’t seem to be resolved.

Well if you’re thinking its the stormy relationships that are mostly likely to end, you’re wrong, In fact, research shows that it is the marriages that are characterized by indifference that have the least chance of surviving.

That’s right, if you’re in a relationship where one of you feels indifferent toward the other – where there’s little emotion, little desire for sex and little desire to make things better, then the first order of business is to get into couples counseling, to see if the flame can be rekindled.

If this does not produce positive results, then the question that remains is how you want to live the rest of your life. An indifferent marriage may or may not agree with you, but if there is anything you owe yourself, its a decision by conscious choice, not resignation.

Having It All

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Is “having it all” something you consider a goal? Then you may be caught up in that syndrome where the word limitation is something that you pretend does not exist.

Indeed accepting your limitations maybe out of vogue right now, but even those who do think of themselves, as actually having it all can still be quite unhappy.

How can this be? Well, the answer is simple. They really don’t have it all. It’s been shown that power and success in ones career, particularly at a young age, can often cause ones life to become unbalanced.

The result is often a tendency to neglect your relationships, and the fun parts of your life. When this happens, the result could be chronic dissatisfaction in every area of your life as well as burnout.

So to prevent this, keep your goals realistic and most importantly, find time to enjoy and savor what you already have accomplished. Remember they were yesterday’s goals.

Getting Involved Again After An Ended Love Relationship

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If you have recently ended a love relationship and have worked through the issues of being single itself, you maybe ready to get involved again, but find yourself facing what seems like insurmountable obstacles. Here are some of the main obstacles to getting involved again:

First is your fear of being vulnerable in a new relationship. Even though what you may have thought was the worst thing that could happen to you (the breakup) happened, you lived through it. So do not blow it now by telling yourself that you couldn’t handle it again if your next relationship doesn’t work out and you had to, or you’ll only avoid that next relationship altogether, But don’t be naïve about some of the signs of getting involved with an inappropriate partner, either. If someone tells you they don’t want to get involved, could never leave their present partner, or don’t want to see the relationship go anywhere, believe them! Avoid generalization: don’t assume that the unworkable issues of your former relationship will be present in your next one. Don’t fall in love with the first second or even third person you meet. Take the time to meet lots of people. And finally, don’t get stifled by that fear of taking risks. It usually feels risky when starting a serious involvement, but a risk usually worth taking. Have fun and don’t waste your good energy fearing rejection. That will only get in the way of finding what you really want.

Fear Of Rejection

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Are you someone who is not in a long-term relationship, but wants to be? If you have little trouble meeting people, yet somehow when you get involved things rarely go beyond the initial stages of a relationship, it may be that you are holding back because of your own fear of self-disclosure.

When you fear self-disclosure, it’s usually because you are telling yourself that if your new friend gets to know who you really are, then rejection will surely follow. In reality this is little more then a negative expression of what may be your own self-opinion.

What further complicates matters is that some people in fact may not want to have anything to do with you once they have gotten to know you. This is a potential reality for all of us. However, that is certainly not always the case. Moreover, if you are to be rejected, it’s probably better just to get it over with. You will survive and then —as long as you don’t put yourself down further—you will be ready to meet the next person.

This is the formula that will eventually lead you to the right person

So take the risk. The more you reveal, the more comfortable you will be not only in revealing who you are to others, but with your own opinion of yourself.